Hibiscus Tea

This tumblr mainly serves as a catalogue for whatever posts I find memorable or relevant. Or anything that makes me happy. I may comment once in a while.

taintedlips asked: It's the people who don't realize that faith is a personal, subjective, journey, that will give you a hard time. This isn't the freaking 1800s anymore ok, the bible is not literal and it was written by man. You don't worship a book, you worship God. All I'm saying is that when it comes down to it, it's about the individual and their spiritual connection with God, (or the universe, or whomever for other beliefs) in the way they feel is right in their soul and heart.

lovelyandbrown:

agreed 10 times over.

lovelyandbrown:

gabbiepouncil:

lovelyandbrown:

believebre:

lovelyandbrown:

"Why I’m Taking A Break From the Black Church"

I relate to all of this.

I find the black church to be be very oppressive at times, and stifles my spiritual beliefs. I don’t think LGBT members of the church should be ashamed of who they are. I think that there should be women preaching all the time if they feel anointed.

Not all black churches are like this, some are progressive. But I think it is hard to seek God and get free and find love in a setting that is hostile towards my personal development.

I’m in a place of transition, though. God and I are still great; Jesus and I are still great. The black church and I, however, are taking a break from each other, however.

****And don’t come in my inbox bludgeoning me with scripture and damning me and condemning me. Jesus Himself told us all to seek so that we can find; I am in the process of seeking a spiritual home that aids to my relationship with God, and not detracts.

THIS IS ME. IM SENDING THIS TO MY MOTHER. THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!

No problem.

It’s harder for the older generation to accept that a sizable amount of young black persons who were raised in the church are starting to question what we are being fed. And I personally think there’s nothing wrong with questioning, as long as it is healthy and respectful. I would never say that the black church has no merit or no relevance because that is a BOLD faced lie and there’s still much positivity and refuge to be gained. But a lot of teachings through out the years just haven’t sat right with me, and I am not the only one. But, I am thankful for these opportunities because they have strengthened my relationship with Christ because I did the leg work to figure out how I felt, what the Bible said, and how I interpreted the Word to be.

This speaks volumes. My mother feels as if she failed as a parent because I abandoned the black church. I went to various churches and had the same result. So I decided it was time to stop. I am a very spiritual person, but I was not going to sit and listen to someone who preached things that didn’t sit right in my soul. I did not let that deter me from a relationship with God. If anything it made us closer because I began to do research of all different types of religion, to find a way to reach my God that did not conflict with my very being.

All of this.

(Source: youtube.com)

Anonymous asked: well u are fighting for black rights but if you were dating an asian guy that means you think asian guys are better than black men, you hypocrite. fuck you, it's girls like you that make black men hate the rest of us black women

lovelyandbrown:

shewhosinlove:

ebonybyg:

Are you for real?

1. I would actually prefer to date within my race but right now I live in Vancouver which is 51% Asian, and 0.9% Black, the only Black guys I know are family friends or they’re not interested. stop jumping to shit conclusions felicia.

2. If you really think I’m making Black men hate us, you’re confused. Black men as a whole don’t hate us and especially not for dating interracially. If a Black man hates Black women that’s their problem not mine.

3. Get your nasty lameass out of my inbox and move along

image

You’re so stupid that I’m actually getting off anon and made another blog just so you know how stupid you are. So what if your city is mostly Asian, GO LOOK FOR A BLACK GUY, move or something! That’s a bad excuse and you know it.

You are a joke, and it’s sad, all the black tumblr bloggers would agree with me, look at lovelyandbrown she is married to a Black man AND she’s bringing the Black community together by doing that.  Black men are dissing black women because of girls like YOU. Don’t act like it’s Black mens fault for not liking you. If you are pro black then date a black man and stop trying to grow your hair so long instead of instead in an afro. Black men hating us is YOUR problem! Dark skin black women that date outside their race are self hate, and self hate is the main reason for separation in our race.

UHMM. HOLY SHIT.

HOW THE FUCKKKKKKK DID MY BLACK ASS GET DRAGGED INTO THIS?!?!????!

  1. I’d just like the record to reflect that I am not married. No shade to my wonderful boyfriend, but hey.
  2. I seriously doubt that my little relationship is bringing the black community together by dating someone I love. I’m not Bey and he ain’t Hov. That’s very kind, but that is a STRETCH like a MOTHERFUCKER and I simply cannot allow it. That sounds so ridiculous. Like…I am cringing. Just NO.
  3. Also, I don’t date who I date to bring the black community together. That’s weird. 
  4. All that aside - you SERIOUSLY cannot be attacking her because she is dating an asian man. That is so. Ridiculous. I am HORRIFIED.
  5. You can fight for black rights and date an asian. You can fight for black rights and date a white person. You can fight for black whites and be WHITE. Like. Our struggle is NOT exclusive to the black community solely. And if it was, OH SHIT. We’d be struggling forever in the state of things now. 
  6. Black men hate black women because they date outside the race? You do know that black men marry outside the race about about 25% to a black woman’s 9%? that’s 1/4 compared to less than 1/10. So, even if we were in a mathematical vacuum, if a black woman wanted to be married, she’d HAVE to date outside her race.
  7. In regards to location, in a VERY white city like Vancouver, her statistics are accurate. With a low population and with 25% of those men ALREADY going to date outside of their race….how many men are there left for her? Her cousins and shit? You want her to be a kissing cousin?
  8. You sound so fucking ridiculous saying that she should just MOVE to find a black man. What if she has a job in Vancouver? A family? Should she cross the US/Canadian border just to chase sone chocolate? Or, maybe she actually LOVES this asian man! Maybe he fulfills her and gives her what she needs and loves her. PERHAPS, SIS. PERHAPS.
  9. As far as her hair growing down and not out into an afro….WHAT? THE FUCKKKKKK!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!
  10. DARK SKIN WOMEN WHO DATE OUTSIDE THE RACE, IN MY MOTHERFUCKING OPINION, ARE ON THE GOTDAMN COME UP. MOST OF THESE BLACK MEN DOG US THE FUCKKKKKKKKKK OUT. IF YOU FIND YOU A GOOD MAN WHO LOVES YOU AND SEE THE BEAUTY IN THE EBONY, THE MOCHA, THE CHOCOLATE UNDERTONES, RUN WITH THAT SHIT. Who the fuck are you to say that shit?!!!?!?!?!

I feel GENUINELY CONFUSED. Because apparently you must be a follower of mine and I really enjoy all my followers, or I try to at least. But you are a fucking moron. You had the unmitigated gall to make an account to harass this woman for some basic ass shit like dating outside of her race? I am so…..spent.

I can’t speak for my “husband” but please do me a favor and unfollow theeeeeee fuckkkkk out of me. I literally subscribe to NOTHING that you are saying and I don’t want any of my followers to think I do. 

darkly-stark:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print. 
Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

Thank fuck, I love this post

darkly-stark:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada

Use, redistribute, print. 

Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex

it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine

i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me

just

fucking

drop

some fucking

knowledge on you right now.

Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.

And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

Thank fuck, I love this post

(via karnythia)

feelknower93:

equivalent experiences: having to see a hotter guy date a girl who you want to date, being harassed

feelknower93:

equivalent experiences: having to see a hotter guy date a girl who you want to date, being harassed

(via punwitch)